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 The GNamer Posts Appreciation Thread

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Balladeer
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PostSubject: The GNamer Posts Appreciation Thread   Wed 19 Aug 2015 - 19:20

A thread where we all appreciate the very best of GNamer posting. †Found a post that really made you think, or laugh, or even cry (NOT YOUR OWN)? †Quote it or link to it here! †Not everyone might visit that thread regularly. †Give your fellow forumites some appreciation.

I'd like to start with this very fine snack review:

The_Jaster wrote:
The Cappuccino kid's anger



Pros:
- An angry Scotsman is always funny.
- Allows me to post Still game memes.
- if we don't do these reviews balla's real name will be revealed.

Cons:
- tastes like the hulk trying to thread a bit of wool through a needle.

Verdict: Pure mince.
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PostSubject: Re: The GNamer Posts Appreciation Thread   Wed 19 Aug 2015 - 22:19

Cheers!

I still think no one has topped this post from Drunka in the "Things that really &$%2 you off" thread when discussion turned to PC gaming.

drunka wrote:
I know consoles are much the same now, that's party of what I was complaining about. I miss the good ol days, when games worked, women knew their place and you could wear a swastika without the political correctness brigade being involved. Bloody PC gaming...
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PostSubject: Re: The GNamer Posts Appreciation Thread   Thu 20 Aug 2015 - 11:42

I was looking for that the other day! Well dug out. Blinder. Thumbs Up!
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PostSubject: Re: The GNamer Posts Appreciation Thread   Thu 20 Aug 2015 - 12:29

It's on page 9 I think if you want to get the full context of it.
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PostSubject: Re: The GNamer Posts Appreciation Thread   Thu 20 Aug 2015 - 22:53

Anything by The Christ, one of my favourite novelty accounts here. Awful awful things he says for a holy man. Some choice excerpts:

On "the best Zelda":
 

On "Football Manager":
 

On "Dark Souls":
 

Also, from that same thread as the Dark Souls quote, I found this wonderful post from beemoh on why Dark Souls provoked such a passionate response from the gaming community.

beemoh wrote:
JayMoyles wrote:
I think the reason the praise is so high is that it's a very niche, but very loud audience who are enjoying the game.

It's also worth pointing out what that audience is. The media narrative on games after 2006 was ultimately dominated, or at least heavily influenced, by Wii Sports and Dr Kawashima- mainstream media was finally paying attention to the form, but only to those two games- meanwhile the specialist press was all how the entire future was exclusively the mass market, progressively simplifying games in the name of "accessibility", Women And Old Peopleô, sterile, inoffensive presentation, lifestyle photography and nothing else, all of it completely exempted from criticism and everything else a catastrophic mistake which should never have happened.

People got beaten around the head with that- which didn't reflect the reality of gaming at the time- for five years until Demon's Souls came out in 2010, brazenly being a sleeper hit pretty much on the back of being the opposite of all of that above.

While the press has settled itself since, there are still major aspects of it in play- the way that things like David Cage's output and Walking Simulators like Gone Home are mired more in justification of their lack of gameplay than critique, how terms like "dudebro" and "shootybang" are used to reductively invalidate large amounts of titles, and that consoles/handhelds/full-price games/Japanese studios are all but dead and free-to-play/indie/mobile is The Only Way. With that in mind, it's hardly surprising that the DS market are so vocal and really why the series is so notable.
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PostSubject: Re: The GNamer Posts Appreciation Thread   Fri 21 Aug 2015 - 0:08

From the Videogame Sound Effects thread, buried deep in GGD:

beemoh wrote:
Speaking of Pokťmon, when you go for a catch, you throw the pokťball, and

Buu-omb.

...

Buu-omb.

...

Buu-omb.

...

Then silence. A perfectly-timed chunk of nothingness. It's just a hair longer than the silence if the pokťmon breaks free- only marginally, but perceptably. Noticably.

You know that it's gone on for longer than it should, you know that means you've got a catch- but you don't accept it. It's not told you yet. It could still break free.

You stare at the motionless pokťball. Time stretches out into infinity.

Day follows night follows day follows night.

Fashion trends come and go.

Civilizations rise and fall.

Beards grow, are shaved, and subsequently re-grow.

And then... *click* dee de deee, dede dedede de deeeeeeee

And relax.

The best sound in games isn't a sound at all, but a fraction of a second of silence.
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PostSubject: Re: The GNamer Posts Appreciation Thread   Fri 21 Aug 2015 - 19:31

Easy to forget, amidst all the hilarious one-liners, that Beemoh could deliver some truly brilliant serious posts as well. Sad
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PostSubject: Re: The GNamer Posts Appreciation Thread   Sat 3 Oct 2015 - 11:05

Bumping for a recent Muss post that I thought was some seriously good stuff: http://messedupcables.forumotion.net/t979-retro-vgs#67764
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PostSubject: Re: The GNamer Posts Appreciation Thread   Thu 12 Nov 2015 - 10:55

I brought it up in the Counting Classics's thread about Muss being a shoe-in for new member award (he counts right) as you bring up posts like that but he also brought up a good one in the Uncharted thread (hence how he got brought up in counting classics's) I may disagree with what he's saying but still a great argument where mine is that it's a video game and lot's do the same and the VR one of his in random thoughts is bang on.

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PostSubject: Re: The GNamer Posts Appreciation Thread   Mon 16 Nov 2015 - 22:45

From the Wrestling Discussion Thread:
masofdas wrote:
I'm a whiny Internet prick

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PostSubject: Re: The GNamer Posts Appreciation Thread   Tue 8 Dec 2015 - 21:29

I'm aware there's a danger we could fill this thread with every other post in snack reviews/"reviews", but these two legends need to be accounted for, surely?

Spoiler:
 
Spoiler:
 
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PostSubject: Re: The GNamer Posts Appreciation Thread   Fri 11 Dec 2015 - 9:36

Legends in their own lifetime. Thumbs Up!

Best pun the forum's ever had?

ZeroJones wrote:
Deep in the bowels of Nintendo's magic cabinet NX games are being worked on. In the company's tradition of bringing novelty and fun to its franchises, one concept being considered is a mash-up of Splatoon and Kid Icarus in a punchline you can see coming from a mile away. An HD sequel to KI:U, the on-foot sections of the game will give Pit the ability to change into a squid and make progress through the ink trails that emerge from his arrows. It'll be called Squid Icarus: Uprise Ink.
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PostSubject: Re: The GNamer Posts Appreciation Thread   Fri 11 Dec 2015 - 10:52

You flatter me, sir... and I like it. *coquettish giggle*
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PostSubject: Re: The GNamer Posts Appreciation Thread   Sat 12 Dec 2015 - 0:12

It's so good I didn't even have the slightest temptation to drop a boothisman.gif on it. Cracking punnery, Zero!
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PostSubject: Re: The GNamer Posts Appreciation Thread   Mon 25 Jan 2016 - 22:39

With apologies to Mas:

Jimbob wrote:
Drunkalilly wrote:
masofdas wrote:
well know

Matthew Castle
You've been...

CASTLED

Thumbs Up!


Last edited by Balladeer on Sat 31 Dec 2016 - 15:36; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: The GNamer Posts Appreciation Thread   Sat 23 Apr 2016 - 15:50

Fronky's rant from the SF0 thread. Somehow, the out-of-place "2)" at the end only makes it better.

fronkhead wrote:
The annoying thing about *that* review is that the focus has been on how they refused to give it a score (or basically review it), which has led some to think that everyone who complains about it is entitled, and that the reviewer is entitled to his opinion (of poor taste).

But the problems with that review go far deeper than that last paragraph. The tone of the piece makes it pretty obvious that he was never going to give Star Fox Zero a fair and equal treatment, that he'd already made up his mind about it before he picked up the GamePad.

He shouldn't have been put on that review, the reviews editor should have picked someone else. But I suspect he was put on the review because Nintendo's an easy target to make a laughing stock out of (could you imagine the outcry if they did the same with a major PlayStation or Xbox exclusive?), particularly to the poorly informed or dismissive.

Incidentally, he did the same with Code Name: STEAM, basically dismissing the game because of the lack of an overhead map. Which was the point of the game. I get not getting on with something like that, but the problem is he didn't even think about why the game did what it did.

A case in point in the Star Fox Zero review was how he also immediately dismissed the game's co-op mode, which, as you know, splits the aiming and flying between two people. Ironically that actually solves the problem he apparently has with the entire game...

There were also a few reviews which called out Star Fox Zero as "dated" simply because the genre, or this type of game, does not exist any more. That's all sorts of wrong, when Star Fox 64 may well have been the last game of its type, but it's a classic, timeless design that has not been superseded, or gotten old. So it hasn't actually had a chance to become dated. But also, Star Fox Zero is like this way because it's a stylistic choice, much like how you get new movies in black and white, or the revival of 2D platformers as pixel art, or the return of Super Metroid's layout. By their logic, Axiom Verge should be considered dated.

Anyway, I'm glad people seem to be enjoying Star Fox Zero! I really like getting stuck into interesting new interfaces to control games, so I'm looking forward to mastering those controls. And if I don't get on with them, I'm sure I'll still be able to appreciate their purpose.
2)
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PostSubject: Re: The GNamer Posts Appreciation Thread   Sat 23 Apr 2016 - 16:45

The below, from The Mighty Jaster, in the Best Legend Of Zelda thread, made me guffaw:

The_Jaster wrote:
TCK wrote:
3. Jaster saying that Bloodborne has the best pigs when Hogs of War has been out for over fifteen years should result in a six hundred year ban from the forum.

SHIT!

Jay wrote:
That can be arranged. †Twisted Evil

SHIT!

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PostSubject: Re: The GNamer Posts Appreciation Thread   Sun 24 Apr 2016 - 18:50

There are multiple reasons why I like this ZeroPost from the Consoles-This-Year Thread, and they all add up.

ZeroJones wrote:
Before I read Jas's reply, I'd come to this thread to say that only Nintendo were offering something genuinely new, but he's right: it's spoiling tactics on behalf of Micro$ony. That's not cricket.

Taking the wider viewpoint, it's madness. Madness Madnusson, the former host of Madstermind. Flooding the market is not what it needs right now, particularly when I understand that some consoles are still establishing themselves. All in all, No
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PostSubject: Re: The GNamer Posts Appreciation Thread   Sun 12 Jun 2016 - 14:14

This from mandlecreed in the Simply The Best thread about Super Metroid. A passionate write-up of the game. Thumbs Up!
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PostSubject: Re: The GNamer Posts Appreciation Thread   Tue 14 Jun 2016 - 11:09

As said in the E3 2016 thread (page 6), I don't agree with everything that Drunka says here, but I do think it's a tremendous post.


Drunkalilly wrote:
Christ, I'm done with E3. I'll watch a bit of the Zelda thing, as I love Nintendo, but the days of me boarding the hype train are well and truly over. So far, all I've seen are CG trailers which don't tell me anything and games I already knew about. What am I getting excited about, exactly? The big wins for me were being given Limbo, Tekken and a Doom demo for free on my Xbox.

Apathy is one thing, I don't begrudge other people being excited. What I do begrudge is the combative nature. "Sony slayed Microsoft!" "Hideo Kojima destroyed Xbox with powerful punches!" "Microsoft fans are crying themselves to sleep the great daft cunts!" Like, no? In terms of numbers, there were as many if not more exclusives that excited me on Xbox as there were on Playstation.

Even if there weren't, I don't care. I can enjoy my games while you enjoy yours. I picked up an Xbox because I fancied the games on it; if lots of good games come to Playstation, I'll buy one of them as well. We're grown ups using entertainment products, not soldiers defending the honour of our liege lords. I don't sit on the Microsoft board, I have zero interest in whether Xbox sells more units than Playstation. Gamers need to grow up.

More than us, though, the games companies need to grow up. Matt Lees put it better than me, but the ludicrous, macho, aggressive games industry is ridiculous and offensive and needs to take a long hard look in the mirror.

Zelda and Pokťmon might be fun, though. I'll watch a little bit but I don't want to see too much.

Sleep

Also this Jimbob post on the Metroid series probably won't make my shortlist for PotY, but it might be a contributing factor for voting him FFotY. He's wrong, though. Dead dead wrong.

But funny. But also wrong.
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PostSubject: Re: The GNamer Posts Appreciation Thread   Thu 21 Jul 2016 - 8:52

This very fine post about Kirby games by Cappa, the content of which is behind the very spoiler tags you see below this text! [/Houdini]

Spoiler:
 
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PostSubject: Re: The GNamer Posts Appreciation Thread   Thu 21 Jul 2016 - 23:16

Thanks for the kind words, and for ignoring all of my dodgy spelling. Thumbs Up!

Just wait until you see my next Simply The Best list, for the greatest Sonic games on Wii U.
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PostSubject: Re: The GNamer Posts Appreciation Thread   Mon 25 Jul 2016 - 23:28

Big thumbs up for including Cappa's post - a cracking retrospective of the Kirby series. Thumbs Up!
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PostSubject: Re: The GNamer Posts Appreciation Thread   Wed 27 Jul 2016 - 17:33

Another post from TCK which made me laugh quite a bit.

TCK in the NX thread wrote:

"They say it's as big as four cats and has a retractable leg so it can leap up at you better and it lights up at night and it's got four ears, two are for listening and the other two are kind of back up ears and it's claws are as big as cups and for some reason it's got a tremendous fear of stamps, masofdas' friend of GNamer called Chris was telling me it's got magnets on it's tail, so if you're made of metal, it can attach itself to you and instead of a head, it's got four arses"
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PostSubject: Re: The GNamer Posts Appreciation Thread   Wed 27 Jul 2016 - 17:38

I've not been looking in the NX thread much. That's a banger of a post!
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