The Mishaps Thread

Had a mishap recently?

I'm sat here in drenched jeans because I had a can of Coke between my legs on the drive home and I went over an unexpected bump and it went everywhere.

*runs bath*

This evening I tried to drink while reclined too far on the sofa, the glass had more than I thought in it so ended up just throwing cold Irn Bru all over my face and T-shirt.

I was drinking some coffee yesterday and somehow confused which side of my face was my mouth and which was my cheek. Proceeded to pour coffee all over myself

Not recent, but the worst driving mishap I had Stu was when I had a massive spontaneous nose bleed whilst on a busy road doing 100km/h. Now that isn't the worst part. I was at work and I had a lovely white business shirt on, and I was desperately trying not to get blood on it. The, I sneezed. Now, I shouldn't have to draw you a picture here, as I am sure you can imagine that it looked like a serial killer crime scene inside my car. I went home, that day was done.

Also, laugh at my expense, but I was out mowing the lawn one summer. At that stage we had a nice, large inflatable pool in the yard. There I am mowing, and for whatever reason, walking backwards when mowing a section of the yard. Again, I shouldn't have to draw a picture here, as I backed into the pool. Certain physics applied and I went in. I got out really quickly, desperately looking around to see if anyone saw me make an absolute dick of myself. Yes, Debbie was watching. That anecdote just won't die.

I am a living accident scene.

I got a 6-inch bacon sun and cup of tea for breakfast and between the till and the counter where the milk and sugar was I held my breakfast such that my thumb was in the tea. I have a legit, visible burn on my thumb now. It was unpleasant but there were manly builder men there so I didn't want to look weak.

It has not been a good week for me down the pub. Last Saturday, I managed to drop an empty pint glass and smash it all over the floor, and yesterday I spilled the contents of a full one all over my lap.

Woo, dyspraxia.

Balladeer wrote:

It has not been a good week for me down the pub.  Last Saturday, I managed to drop an empty pint glass and smash it all over the floor

Did everyone stop and do that half-assed cheer? Happens every time.

No, but apparently from my immensely embarrassed reaction, some of them were worried that I'd cut myself.

andyman949 wrote:

I was drinking some coffee yesterday and somehow confused which side of my face was my mouth and which was my cheek. Proceeded to pour coffee all over myself

This reminds me of Ted Stryker from Airplane! with his drinking problem...

Fastpie wrote:

andyman949 wrote:

I was drinking some coffee yesterday and somehow confused which side of my face was my mouth and which was my cheek. Proceeded to pour coffee all over myself

This reminds me of Ted Stryker from Airplane! with his drinking problem...

In our house, the Ted Stryker, Flying High joke of 'I have a drinking problem', is always used when liquid misses the mouth.

I have so many mishaps that they barely register any more. The most recent of same was on Monday when Jo and I were in a hotel, looking at prospective reception venues. I was in charge of making the tea and opened the little milk container so hard it went everywhere.

DoPo, but a most amazing one just: I was going to put on some deodorant in the bathroom this morning. The one I used had a removable cap which dropped out of my hands, right over the waiting toilet. "Well, that's a goner," I thought (literally). It bounced off the rim of the seat and shot up again... to the safety of the bathroom floor, right in front of the toilet! Amazing.

Is it totally unscathed? Sounds like a hell of an emotional roller coaster

My dad had an absolute classic after my parents got married. He took off his ring to watch his hands, balled it up in some toilet paper so it wouldn't get wet, popped it on the windowsill and forgot about it. Mum comes along, flushes it down the bog. He ends up needing to replace his wedding ring.

Hoping there's no rule on these having to involve humans, because

Disgust ahead:

They do tend to do that anywhere. Keeping felines from using their garden as a litter box has been one of my parents' greatest challenges.

Cos I'm mishappy
Clap along if you feel like a really very stupid klutz
Cos I'm mishappy
Clap along if you feel like you're very much a putz
Cos I'm mishappy
Clap along if you drop things, like, nearly all the time
Cos I'm mishappy
Clap along if you're wond'rin' how I will end this rhyme

A good percentage of a bottle of Lucozade Grafruitti (for that is what it is called) ended up on my jeans and the sofa about an hour ago. The Cranberry Lucozade Revive was similarly fragile when you opened it, too. Those rascals.