Snacks! Reviews/'reviews' welcome

What are these magical things?

I can't stand anything with peanuts in, but my preference for Smarties over M&Ms probably stems from nostalgia.

Snickers & Hazelnut



Pros:
It tastes just like a Topic chocolate bar.

Cons:
It tastes just like a Topic chocolate bar.

Verdict:

That sounds like the shit, I need to get on that soonish.

It is good I'm just not sure it needs to exist.

Jaster wins review of the year. We've finally reached Charlotte Martyn's Eh?%

Once again you's are too kind.

Tesco's Crunchy Sweet Potato Slices

img:

Sometimes healthy foodings go too far.

Pros:

• One of your five a day
  
• Very low fat
  

Cons:

• Taste like donkey arse scrapings
  
• One pack contains 11% of your day's sugar
  

21%

Aww those sound great as well.

I'm surprised that the thread hasn't already dissolved into a competition to produce the most disgusting taste simile possible.

Tesco's Finest Flame Toasted Paprika & Ancho Chilli Tortilla Chips



With a name like that, you're to expect a taste sensation that would drive the gods themselves wild with spice-infused delight. And yet... Honestly, I thought paprika was supposed to be spicy!

Pros:

• An excellent vehicle for dips
  
• Suitable for vegetarians
  

Cons:

• Taste of nothing... honestly, any variety of Dorito beats this hands down for taste
  
• Finishing one bag will mean you've consumed 63% of your recommended daily dose of fat
  

47%

I have consumed a

SOUL


I travelled to a foreign land, and under the beat of the sun and through the screams of women and babes, I devoured. I devoured buffets that could burst the belly of a beast. I devoured daily breakfasts that might otherwise have fed me for a week. I devoured multitudinous meats and puddings the likes of which I had scarcely imagined. I devoured limitless wine on tap, and gin mixed with tonic almost 50/50, as is the style in this strange land. Then, one day, by the pool, in the sweltering heat and the madness of a man not tied to the world, I devoured a soul.

Pros

• Ice cream is always good on a hot day
  
• Rich chocolatey centre
  
• Deicious crunchy shell on top with almondy bits
  

Cons

• The cone was a little soft and chewy
  
• I am become death, a dark agent who has tasted the elixir of mortal life and now hungers, forever hungers for souls. I shall never be sated, never again be sane. Mine soul is forfeit, damned, and only by consuming more and ever more may I flee the abyss.
  
• No flavour to the actual ice cream
  
  

Overall, I'd recommend these. There's enough going on elsewhere that if the ice cream itself had too much flavour, that might actually be too much. The darkness that now gnaws at my heart was cold and frightening at first, but now it sustains me. I am the night, I am dread, I gladly give my life in service to that hunt for the sweet taste of souls. As for the cone, I'm willing to give it the benefit of the doubt and say mine had maybe melted a little and been refrozen, or just been hanging around a little too long.

An Edge 7/10

Two notes:

1) My holiday drink of choice is gin and Coke - gin ton, as we call it at Zero Castle, is not my cup of tea.

2) In French, 'soûl' means 'drunk'.

What soul level does that make you now, buska?

69

Balla, you can eat all of the jelly chocolate. I frickin' hate it! Jelly and chocolate should not be together. Yes, it does get stuck to you teeth. That's an understatement. By the time the wrapper's empty, only have the bar is in my stomach - the rest is welded to the inside of my mouth.

I think you're probably eating it wrong. Anyway, to concentrate on the jelly alone is to miss how the three meld together into one glorious, health-destroying whole.

Dairy Milk Presents... Marvellous Creations Cookie Nut Crunch

img:

Let's go for it! Released on the same day as the superlative Jelly Popping Candy (if I remember rightly), Cookie Nut Crunch quickly faded into obscurity compared to its silky sibling. Is that justified?

Pros:

• Tastes like a Fruit & Nut without the fruit
  
• It's always good to experiment with new things
  

Cons:

• Tastes like a Fruit & Nut without the fruit
  
• Doesn't feel special
  

63%

Picked up a Megatron liquid filled, extreme sour bubblegum: strawberry flavour and thought I'd try something a little different: A VIDEO REVIEW.

You mad 'ead.

Belter!

Blimey. Where does one go from there?

Dairy Milk Presents... Marvellous Creations Banana Caramel Crisp

img:

I'm 'avin it! Banana is an underused taste, in my opinion - is there a reason for that?

Pros:

• Tastes like a Fruit & Nut without the fruit
  
• Banana taste is top
  

Cons:

• Tastes like a Fruit & Nut without the fruit
  
• Another DMP...MC bar that doesn't hold a candle to Jelly Popping Candy (and a good job, too)
  

71%

Banana is in anything but the actual fruit. Nope.