Pokédix

Subject: Re: Pokédix Tue 13 Sep 2016 - 23:18

Professional tree impersonators, Sudowoodos are paradoxically terrified of water. They enjoy nothing more than settling down to a good puzzle. Sadly, their unusual hands mean they can never pick up a pen to answer them.

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Subject: Re: Pokédix Thu 15 Sep 2016 - 22:22

Prinplup

Hey man I heard you like beaks so I put your beak on a large beak so you can have an open beak when you close your beak. I'm saying that thing on your head looks like a beak. Beak

I was going to pick a random one but I don't think the random number generator's working:

Subject: Re: Pokédix Fri 16 Sep 2016 - 9:42

at 'Glamoswine'. Also: Professor Laytowoodo?

Inside Bulbasaur's bulb, a flower is growing. At this early point, its roots have just begun poking through the base animal's skull, causing a vague tickle and the occasional headache. Later the flower will grow in strength by siphoning off the animal's brain matter. Venusaur's IQ is substantially lower, and its pain tolerance substantially higher, than Bulbasaur's.

Next person gets...:

Subject: Re: Pokédix Sat 17 Sep 2016 - 22:40

Parasect:

Pokédix - Page 2 Latest?cb=20110910231413

Looking at those empty eyes, it is obvious that Parasect has seen some really hard times, not as hard as his shell though which we've been hitting with every lab instrument we can find in an effort to kill it. It does not react to the beatings though, it just stares blankly, what's it hiding? What's that seventh appendage? Why's it growing every time we hit its shell? *Remainder of entry redacted to maintain PEGI rating*

Next::

Subject: Re: Pokédix Mon 19 Sep 2016 - 22:59

Bibarel heard what you said about it that time you saw it behind a tree, and it went home and ate a whole tub of Ben and Jerrys. It eats because it's sad, and it's sad because it eats.

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Subject: Re: Pokédix Mon 19 Sep 2016 - 23:37

A portmanteau of 'polygon' and 'origami', Porygons are folded paper creations that have come to life. They got their name because the majority of them are born from the crumpled pieces of paper that live next to printers after humans ignore the 'toner low' message for too long.

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Subject: Re: Pokédix Thu 10 Nov 2016 - 13:09

Pokédix - Page 2 Latest?cb=20140924030616

Tauros has been trying to grow a beard for weeks and, frankly, its neckbeard has just gone out of control.

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Subject: Re: Pokédix Thu 10 Nov 2016 - 13:44

When a Bouffalant reaches maturity, it slays its' parents and drives their bones into its head, creating the "horns". From then on, it's life is one of pain, which can only be relieved by the sweet sounds of jazz. Bouffalant can often be found slow dancing their nights away to the chillest and illest sounds on the west coast.

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Subject: Re: Pokédix Sat 12 Nov 2016 - 10:43

Resurrected from a fossil?! Obviously no-one saw Jurassic Park... It is alleged that a Kabutops was the inspiration for the film Edward Scissorhands. They keep their claws sharp by working as sous-chefs in top London restaurants.

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Also - could we get a list of the Pokémon we've dixed (better choices of words are available) in the first post? Thumbs Up!

Subject: Re: Pokédix Tue 3 Jan 2017 - 1:32

Visions of its conception are psionically impressed upon this Pokémon from birth; re-living these harrowing images ad-nauseum fuels its perpetual headache and penchant for narcotics.

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Subject: Re: Pokédix Tue 3 Jan 2017 - 16:29

Trapinch's feeble neck muscles aren't strong enough to hold up its enormous head. Should it fail to evolve in the first three years of its life, the head drops off on its own.

Randomly generated:

Subject: Re: Pokédix Tue 3 Jan 2017 - 18:09

Meinfoo is actually a symbiotic relationship between two creatures, one yellow and one pink. They hate eachother with a passion, and will attempt to kill one another during sleep.

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Subject: Re: Pokédix Tue 3 Jan 2017 - 18:14

...I can believe that, actually.

Subject: Re: Pokédix Tue 3 Jan 2017 - 21:58

Natu

~~Bless You.~~

Natu is the ancient Incan word for "three"; as, despite the appearance of a bird, Natu is actually a sentient green snooker ball, which is of course worth three points.

I don't think we've had #578 before:

Subject: Re: Pokédix Thu 5 Jan 2017 - 20:44

Duosion

Formed when a Scatterbug falls into an industrial vat of lime jelly, Duosions develop their psychic powers in order to survive the trauma of being stuck in one of the vilest substances there ever was. Eventually the only thing a Duosion can do is think, and their one thought is usually "Ugh".

Next up:

Subject: Re: Pokédix Sat 7 Jan 2017 - 9:18

Monferno got chucked out of clown school after burning three other clowns to death. Sometimes, when it hasn't washed for a while, you can still smell a faint aroma of burnt custard pie.

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Subject: Re: Pokédix Sat 7 Jan 2017 - 17:45

Bounsweet are unfortunately one of the most delicious Pokémon to ever exist, and live in constant fear of young trainers craving Ribena.

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Subject: Re: Pokédix Sat 7 Jan 2017 - 18:33

Pokédix - Page 2 ?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.blogcdn.com%2Fwww.joystiq.com%2Fmedia%2F2008%2F04%2Fshaymincoro_cs_0422

Terribly self-conscious of its pungent body odor, Shaymin constantly searches for fresh flowers to adorn itself with. It often smiles at passers by, but its eyes darken as its flower decays, triggering speculation that unsuccessful Shaymin go blind.

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Subject: Re: Pokédix Sat 7 Jan 2017 - 18:48

Subject: Re: Pokédix Sat 7 Jan 2017 - 18:49

Onix are actually very brittle- each rocky sphere is hollow. Inside, there are sweets and tasty treats unlike anything one could ever taste. Unfortunately, 3 of every hundred people who eat these sweets die a most painful death.

DAMNIT MUSS:

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Subject: Re: Pokédix Sat 7 Jan 2017 - 19:04

There is no fluid between cogs, only tremendous friction. Klinky

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Subject: Re: Pokédix Sun 8 Jan 2017 - 11:25

Marshtomp

The size of a Marshtomp's face spikes can be confusing to potential mates. In males and females, the larger they are, the more attractive to the opposite sex. The darker fins are all the same shape, only adding to the confusion.

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Subject: Re: Pokédix Sun 8 Jan 2017 - 12:38

Ursaring is the bestest Pokémon because he's a big strong fluffy wuffy bear yes he is! I wuvs him lots and lots. Today he's been playing chase even more than usual, giving me lots of bear hugs and kisses. -Report found in severed hand. The rest of Professor Summerhayes has not been seen since he left to live, unprotected, with bears.

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Subject: Re: Pokédix Sun 8 Jan 2017 - 15:49

Blimey, this has picked up!

Unscrupulous humans have been known to steal the shells of Shelmet, to use as sugar bowls. These bowls are cursed, however, with their owners often dying horrendous deaths, covered in slime.

I give you:

Subject: Re: Pokédix Sat 4 Feb 2017 - 22:50

Xerneas is actually a specific psychological condition that describes pokémon who act upon their intense desires to appear on 'Pimp my Pok'. The term, Xerneas is derived from a dreadful fusion between the misspelling of the word, earnest, and popular rap man, Xzibit.

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